So...About This Blog...

...I have never been a blogger, but enjoy the voyeuristic nature of it...it's fun to read other people's thoughts, fears and dreams..

So here goes nothing...

Random Thoughts:
Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am tired, frustrated, annoyed, and psychotic over what my kids put me through. At the same time, I have never felt more loved, more treasured or more wanted before in my life. (I know they will want less to do with me as they get older so I am cherishing this time in their lives when they still want to cuddle).

Being a wife can suck the big one! I am an independent person. I don't want someone telling me I have to call on my way home, how much money I can spend or that I "can't" do something in particular. This makes my husband sound demanding, and he is in his own way, but not as mad as I just mad him out. I just think I would be happier single.

Starbucks Rocks! Especially now that they have their Pumpkin Spice and Gingerbread Lattes out! I love you guys!

I hate my body! I have never loved what I saw in the mirror but two children in 18 months, breastfeeding for two years and two c-sections certainly have done their damage. I look back at pics of myself and wish that I had appreciated what I had then.

I don't know if you're still with me or not but if you are, sorry if I am boring....just trying to figure what to tell everyone about my crazy life....

I Think I Ruined My Husband's Life

Well, not really ruined it. Before me, he was at the beginning of what would have been a highly successful career, making more money than most any other mid-20-something does. He lived in a cool city, had cool friends, and hot dates. Then we started dating. He moved back to this quiet, peaceful, but somewhat un-hip town to be closer to me. We got engaged and he further delved into what would become our lives by quitting his cool job and taking another that was local, and wouldn’t take him away from me all the time. We bought a house together which made it even more difficult for him to get away.

Then I did the unthinkable…I practically broke his heart. Call it cold feet, call it a cruel twist of fate, I asked to push back our wedding. After all he had done for me, I was questioning whether I could do the same for him…

We went on to get married and now have two beautiful children together. He is working and is successful at what he is doing. Our house is now a home where you can hear the pitter patter of little feet and, most nights, smell something good cooking. The cool friends are (mostly) all married now with children of their own. His cool job is but a distant memory, replaced with something practical and dependable. And the hot dates? The only hot dates he has now is with a wife that has birthed two children and has the c-section scars to prove it. But, he loves his children, he loves his wife. I think he even loves how his life has turned out.

But I can’t help but think how his life would have been different if I had just looked the other way at that party 6 years ago…